England takes on France in a meaningless friendly on March 26th, so to get you ready for the hype onslaught and tired historical and cultural cliches, here’s a glance at some of the world’s favorite frenchies: 

Michel Platini- He played at a time when shorts were at their shortest, and perms were at their peak.  A curly moppet in blue, the great Platini was part of the 1984 European Championship winning French national team.  He’s now UEFA’s president, and we all know that power is sexy.

Eric Cantona- No one could pout like this Frenchman can, and for 5 seasons, fans at Old Trafford sang this Red Devil’s name.  His footballing prowess (for club, not country) is well known, but I will remember him for his very strong brow line, and disturbing kung fu kick on a Crystal Palace fan.

Zinedine Zindane- Ah, Zizou.  Falling in love with this man is a constant exercise in discovery.  At first it was his ability to control the midfield with his seemingly effortless playmaking.  Then it was his almost languid body movement, completely constrasting his quick and spritely teammates.  Then, I saw this video.  The guy has an amazing face, beautiful eyelashes, and I’d forgotten how young he really is.  Mm. Oh, uhm… yeah he was also known as one of the most carded players, he had that monk ‘do, and often committed some fairly nasty fouls on the opposition.  …and there’s the headbutting thing at WC 2006.  But…we can work throught that.

David Trezeguet- Like Cantona, he’s a really good player, but he’s not usually counted among the international greats. He’s had a very good career, and since he’s only 30- that should continue for a bit longer.  He’s mainly on this list because he’s cute.  There, I said it.

Thierry Henry- He’s the kind of guy that makes other guys sick.  He’s a superb, multi award winning athlete, he’s scary rich, he can easily dress himself, he’s really really ridiculously goodlooking, he has a cool accent, and he used to be married to a hot model.  The hot model is gone, but the rest still remains, making him an enviable figure in most social circles.