Manchester City’s Richard Dunne encourages Liverpool’s Fernando Torres to display his better assets.

[AP/Andrew Yates]

I know, I KNOW this was already scooped on my other baller-stalkin’ home, Kickette- but I love this video. The bad acting, the obvious fact that he was seconds away from giggling, the very likely possibility that he apologised after breaking the window- I love it all.

Because I love Cesc Fabregas.

Watch the promo for his online tv show here.

Also:

-Happy very belated birthday to the Queen of the Wags (always and forever) Posh! May tanning booths and strict diets stave off the ravages of time a bit longer, love.

-Abigail Clancy’s website claims she “burst into the media limelight as a runner-up in Living TV’s hit fashion show Britain’s Next Top Model”.

No she didn’t.

She burst into the media limelight just before World Cup 2006 when everyone noticed the slightly shorter beanpole hanging like a pod off the greatest beanpole of them all Peter Crouch. Don’t get me wrong, she’s obviously smoking hot- but no one ever remembers the runner-up on Top Model. Hell, no one even remembers the winner of Top Model. Well, unless they go on to become a Z-list reality tv star and marry Peter Brady. Then they only remember them when Perez Hilton bashes them in his blog. I’ve lost the thread of this, haven’t I? Oh, you can buy Abigail (Abbey? Abi?)’s 2008 calendar too.

I randomly found this picture online.  I’m guessing it’s the US Men’s National Team circa 2004, but I can’t tell.  I just know it reeks of cheese.

I probably took the same picture with my U-11 tennis team.  All unnecessary barbs aside- it’s still attractive in a fresh faced Highschool Musical-esque way.

Amongst Arsenal fans, it’s believed that Adebayor’s goal scoring prowess was borne of his expertly moulded cornrows.  The evidence? He hasn’t been scoring (on the pitch) since he adopted a tight ‘fro.

So playing issues aside- how do you like your Ade? With braids or without?

(Note: I’m not going to mention his unfortunate “perm” days when he had straight, flowing, creepy locks. *shudders*)

[Photos: Wireimage.com]

England takes on France in a meaningless friendly on March 26th, so to get you ready for the hype onslaught and tired historical and cultural cliches, here’s a glance at some of the world’s favorite frenchies: 

Michel Platini- He played at a time when shorts were at their shortest, and perms were at their peak.  A curly moppet in blue, the great Platini was part of the 1984 European Championship winning French national team.  He’s now UEFA’s president, and we all know that power is sexy.

Eric Cantona- No one could pout like this Frenchman can, and for 5 seasons, fans at Old Trafford sang this Red Devil’s name.  His footballing prowess (for club, not country) is well known, but I will remember him for his very strong brow line, and disturbing kung fu kick on a Crystal Palace fan.

Zinedine Zindane- Ah, Zizou.  Falling in love with this man is a constant exercise in discovery.  At first it was his ability to control the midfield with his seemingly effortless playmaking.  Then it was his almost languid body movement, completely constrasting his quick and spritely teammates.  Then, I saw this video.  The guy has an amazing face, beautiful eyelashes, and I’d forgotten how young he really is.  Mm. Oh, uhm… yeah he was also known as one of the most carded players, he had that monk ‘do, and often committed some fairly nasty fouls on the opposition.  …and there’s the headbutting thing at WC 2006.  But…we can work throught that.

David Trezeguet- Like Cantona, he’s a really good player, but he’s not usually counted among the international greats. He’s had a very good career, and since he’s only 30- that should continue for a bit longer.  He’s mainly on this list because he’s cute.  There, I said it.

Thierry Henry- He’s the kind of guy that makes other guys sick.  He’s a superb, multi award winning athlete, he’s scary rich, he can easily dress himself, he’s really really ridiculously goodlooking, he has a cool accent, and he used to be married to a hot model.  The hot model is gone, but the rest still remains, making him an enviable figure in most social circles. 

Cristiano Ronaldo debuted a new “Not So Fauxhawk” at Old Trafford on Sunday.  Even more worryingly, there are signs of impending aggressively Eurotrash style facial hair.  Judge for yourself.

[Photo: AP]

[REUTERS/Jim Young]

Call me cynical (”Cynical!!”) but I’m pretty much done with the whole “rocking the baby” celebrations. It’s cute and all, but kind of played out. Kudos to D.C. United’s Fred for adding the dummy as a prop, but still- I’d rather see a footballer don a diaper or throw a tantrum to celebrate a goal along with the birth of a child.

Just sayin’.

According to sources* VickieB. has confessed that she and David Beckham could be longing for the foggy London air once again.  Becks has only been with LA Galaxy for one season, but the couple’s status stateside is hovering around the B-list, a marked change from England where the flashy pair were once the King and Queen of the Chavs. 

In Los Angeles, the Beckhams must compete with a once-mad, now heavily-sedated Britney Spears for attention, and the Scientology crowd is always good for a laugh, plus there are always various reality television slappers and Paris Hilton’s gang of floozies needing pap attention.  VickieB. is a little too thin, a little too frightening, and a little too self entitled to capture the hearts of middle America and the flashbulbs of the gossip mag press corps.  David is undeniably pretty, but too awkward and sweet to truly take the U.S. by storm on his own.

So it’s not much of surprise that the once powerful couple could look to head back across the Atlantic once more.  The Posh announcement concerning her new line of baggy jeans (dVb) for men was met with a tepid response- most fashion mags were more interested in her riff upon Britney Spears and other celebrities who release name brand products they know nothing about.

I was more concerned about this comment from Victoria about the merits of her new line:

“I didn’t want anything too tight around the crotch. That really repulses me. It might be fashionable, but you are not going to get that from dVb.”

…

..

.

Yeah, this’ll set the fashion world alight, for sure.

*wishful Beverly Hills residents, likely.